Here's the reality.

Here I am again feeling blue. Life is indeed.. unfair. People come and go, just like what they did. I've loved several men but with some reasons they just left me. I had friends whom I thought they will be with me through ups and downs but sadly they're gone now. I don't know who are true to me and who are not. I am so confused and.. pressured. I am hoping that my current boyfriend will be my partner for life but I couldn't tell that yet. I love him, I trust him.. but this is reality.. in one snap he could find someone else, especially with the kind of relationship were having.. long distance relationship rarely works. 99% unguaranteed.

I am kind of saving myself from having fake people around me. I don't want to invest too much in a friendship. If they need me, okay I'll be there. If they don't want me anymore, okay fine, no problem. Friends come and go. I just wish friends could be contractual. If they want to continue being friends with me, then please sign the contract but if they want to get rid of me, okay just resign.


It is not really healthy to be dependent to people around me. Because at the end of the day, it would still be YOU alone lying on your bed. I was born alone, so I guess I would die alone too.


Life has full of surprises. Some are heartbreaking, most of the time actually. But that's life, imperfect.. and that's make it perfect.