I am sick again. I had a fever last night and I really felt so ill. UGH! But I'm so much better now. I am still sick but feels lighter. Hope I could go to school tomorrow. I've been missing a lot of school things. Midterm exams are fast approaching too. Good luck to me. YAY!

42 months of HAPPINESS.

It's me and my boyfriend's 42th monthsary. YES! Were already three years and six months together and still going strong. I am just so glad that we made it till here and I know we'll be stronger and stronger. We have so many problems right now but were trying not to get affected especially our relationship. I maybe stupid sometimes and I don't want him to lose just because of my stupidity. We talked over the phone for about two hours. We have to end it soon because were both sick. I am experiencing soarthroat right now and also, dry cough. Sucks. My throat hurts! Anyways, back to the topic. I am hoping that we could spend the coming monthsaries personally together. Can't wait to see him! :)

Life has been really bumpy lately for me. A lot of unexpected things happened. I don't want to elaborate what exactly happened because I don't want to waste my time typing nonsense things. But after everything that happened, I've learned a lot of things. I knew who are the REAL people, that some guys seem nice but the truth is they're ASSHOLES. It hurts more when you see those special people in your life hurting and sheding tons of tears for people who don't deserve even a single drop of their precious tear. If you could just go to them and hug them till they stop. I'd do that but it wouldn't be that easy. Love hurts a lot. And now I know, how much my boyfriend really loves me. And I really feel sorry for doing things behind his back but I had my purposes and I am really glad he completely understands me. Things would fall into right places soon. I will just hope for the best.

This day wasn't that good except that Brent and I shared a good laugh over the phone which was the only highlight today. I really don't feel well. Prolly because of my medicine. The doctor said it has several side effects. Nausea is one of them. Been absent to school for three days.

BORED? Me too.

I was suppose to be going with my dad to the groceries but unfortunately, my stomach is aching. It must've been the expired food I ate last night. So now, I am stuck here in my room and I am doing nothing. I mean, obviously I am doing something right now. I am blogging but after this I can't think of anything to do. GAAH! I am so sick of logging into facebook. There's no new stuff anymore if you're always online everyday. Boring!

True Love is...

I have a friend who is falling in love.

She honestly claims that the sky is bluer.

Mozart moves her to tears.

She has lost 15 pounds and she looks like a covergirl.

"I am young again!" she shouts exuberantly.

As my friend raves on about her new love,

I take a look at my old one.

My husband of almost 20 years, Scott has gained 15 pounds.

Once a marathon runner, he now only runs down hospital walls.

His hairline is receding and his body is showing signs of

long working hours and too much candy bars.

Yet he can still give me a look across the restaurant table

and says "I want to ask for the check and head home."

When my friend asked me, "what will make this love last?"

I ran through all the obvious reasons:

Commitment, shared interests, unselfishness,

physical attraction and communication.

Yet there's more. We still have fun. Spontaneous good times.

Yesterday, after slipping the rubberband off the roll of newspaper,

Scott flippied it playfully to me: this led to an all-out war.

Last Saturday at the grocery, we split the list and

raced each other to see who would make it to the checkout first.

Even washing the dishes can be a blast.

We enjoy simply being together.

And there are surprises.

One time, I came home to find a note on the front door

that led me to another note, and another until I reached the walk-in closet.

I opened the door to find Scott holding a "pot of gold" (my cooking kettle)

and the "treasure" of a gift package.

Sometimes I leave him notes on the mirror or little presents under his pillow.

There is understanding.

I understand why he must play basketball with the guys.

And he understands why, once a year, I must get away from the house,

the kids, and even him to meet my sisters for a few days

of non-stop talking and laughing.

There is sharing.

Not only do we share household worries and parental burdens--

We also share ideas.

Scott came home from a convention last month and

presented me with a thick, historical novel.

Though he prefers thrillers and science fiction,

he read the novel on the plane.

He touched my heart when he explained it was because

he wanted to exchange ideas about the book, after I've read it.

There is forgiveness.

When I'm embarrassingly loud and crazy at parties,

Scott forgives me.

When he confessed losing some of our savings in the stock market,

I gave him a hud and said, "it's okay, it's only money."

There is sensitivity.

Last week, he walked through the door with the look

the tells me it had been a tough day.

After he spent some time with the kids, I asked him what happened.

He told me about a 60 year old woman who had a stroke.

He wept as he recalled the woman's husband

standing beside her bed, caressing her hand.

How was he going to tell this husband of 40 years that his wife would

probably never recover? I shed a few tears myself.

Because of the medical crisis,

because there were still people married for 40 years,

because my husband is still moved and concerned after

years of hospital rooms and dying patients.

There is faith.

Last Tuesday, a friend came over and confessed her fear

that her husband was losing his courageous fight over cancer.

On Wednesday, I went to lunch with a friend who is struggling to

reshape her life after a divorce.

On Thursday, a neighbor called to talk about the frightening

effects of Alzheimer's disease to her father-in-law's personality.

On Friday, a childhood friend called long-distance to tell me her father died.

I hung up the phone and thought, "this is too much heartache for 1 week."

Through my tears as I went out to run some errands,

I noticed the boisterous orange blossoms of the gladiolus

outside my window. I heard the delighted laughter of my son

as he and his friend played.

I caught sight of a wedding party emerging from a neighbor's house.

The bride, dressed in satina and lace, tossed her bouquet

to her cheering friends.

That night, I told my husband about these events.

We helped each other acknowledge the cycles of life

and that the joys counter the sorrows.

It was enough to keep us going.

Finally, there is knowing.

I know that Scott will throw his laundry just shy of the hamper every night;

he'll be late for his appointments and will eat the last chocolate in the box.

He knows that I will sleep with a pillow over my head.

I guess our love lasts because it is comfortable.

No, the sky is not bluer; it's just a familiar hue.

We don't feel particularly young; we've experienced too much

that has contributed to our growth and wisdom,

taking its toll on our bodies, and created our memories.

I hope we've got what it takes to make our love last.

As a bride, I had Scott's wedding band engraved with Robert Browning's line,

"Grow old along with me."

We're following those instructions.

"If anything is real, the heart will make it plain."

There are some people who meet that somebody they

can never stop loving no matter how hard they try.

I wouldn't expect you to understand that, or believe it,

but trust me, there is a love that never goes away.

And maybe that makes them crazy.

but we should all be blessed to end up with somebody

who has a little of that insanity.

Somebody who never lets go.

Somebody who cherishes you, forever.

Things I recently MiSS SO BAD :|

I miss eating skittles with you even though
deep inside I know you don't wanna share it to me.


I miss watching a horror flick with you
because you scream louder than me
and I find it really cute.


I miss when we stare at each other
for no reason then we'll start to laugh our ass off.


I miss it when you criticize how I look like
but you always tell the whole world how proud you are of me.


I miss it when everytime we part ways from a romantic date,
you'll hug me tight and whisper "Ako lang ha?"

I'm wide awake again and it is already midnight. Anyways, I want to make sulit of my semi-vacation. Teehee! I am currently chattting with my youngest sister. She doesn't want to go to school daw. She's having a hard time mingling with other students. Maybe she's shy because she is a new student. She's already staying in Merville and she wants our mom to move in too ASAP which is impossible as of now because she's too busy fixing stuff. I am kinda worried right now because my dog's poop has a blood! I don't know why but I don't think she's weak or something because she is very active and before that, she vommitted. She is actually playing with my mom's dog right now and seems she's okay.

God is Good.

I woke up this morning, around 9AM because my room's intercom was ringing. I was really sleepy so I was kinda pissed off when I answered the intercom. Rizza, my cousin's wife told me Jade was on the other line of the phone and told her to wake me up because it was emergency. I was kinda nervous. It might be about my Brent. And yes, I was correct. It was about my poor boyfriend. He was rushed into the hospital because I think he was suffocated. Jade told me that his dad suspected that there was some kind of smoke inside Brent's room so he went inside and Brent was lying unconsciously. After my conversation to Jade, I went straight to the altar and offered a prayer. I felt desperate. I thought something really bad would really happen to me. Knowing myself as a very pessimistic person. I was really spaced out. I went back to my bed and tears fell. Couldn't stop crying. Jade texted me after an hour of agony. She told me Brent's mom would call me up. I was like "She wouldn't bother to call me up if nothing serious is happening to her son!" and then Jade called me up after a minute. She told me Brent is okay now. Thank God. To my relief, I was speechless and was still sniffing like a kid who lost her toy. And explained to me that Brent's mom was about to call me up because her son was insisting to go out of the hospital which of course prohibited as of now. She was about to ask me if I could talk to her son. I am actually texting Brent right now and he was still clueless why the heck he is in the hospital.




But on the bright side, I feel fine right now.

Sandara Park is back.

Guess what?! I was watching MYX a while ago when the veejay told the viewers that Sandara Park (a Korean who became really popular in the Phils years ago) is already popular in her own country. I find her jologs when she was still an actress here. She was even labeled "krung krung" which means crazy. Though her beauty is undeniable. She was really pretty. She is one of the members of the new comers 2NE1. It's an all-girl group. Based on what I read, they are really famous now in South Korea. I think she looks better now. And I could really see the improvement. Thumbs up to Sandara! Fighting! *wink*



Watch the latest MV








I am not really a K-pop lover but I instantly fell in love with the song. It is dance-able.

REMINDERS:

• Take up majors next term.
• As soon as my boyfriend will get back here in the Phils, we'll be formalizing our engagement.
• Less carbs! Drink water!
• Take up my medicines daily.
  
• Look for a nice house. (For Brent)
• No shopping for now.
• Open a new bank account and save money. At least, deposit some moolah once a week.
• Donate some of my old clothes to a charity.
• Don't forget to deposit money to World Vision Foundation.
• Cut out sweets. I would not eat ice cream again! :(
• Buy a memory card adapter.
• Do my project in Poligov. CRAPPPPP!

Sunday ends with a headache :|

My two sisters, Ish and Yna already went to Merville. Yna will stay there from now on because she'll be going to school starting tomorrow. I am just hoping that she could cope up with the lessons. She was a honor student in her previous school so hope she also do well in her present school. Anyways, I was kinda pissed off to Brent a while ago because he doesn't want to pay his long time debt to Jade! She was only asking for 1000PHP because she ran out of money but he was telling me that he has no money. DUH! He works in their own company. For sure his salary is better than I could imagine. I hate it when he acts like that. Haaaate him!



No, I am just kidding. I love him, of course. *laugh* But I won't tolerate that kind of attitude. I pity Jade. I know she really needs the money. I will just give her part of my allowance next week. I am watching Urban Zone right now. It is a lifestyle TV show, by the way. I like the featured condo unit right now. Looks so elegant. Her couch is custom-made. It must be really pricey. I want to have one someday. So I gotta work hard.

Thoughts of tonight.

I've been thinking a lot of things lately. Well, as always. By the way, I have to change my font size and style because I realized it was too tiny. I have a eye problem so I was having a hard time reading all my previous posts. Anyways, I am really praying hard that my boyfriend's mom operation will push through this coming month. I want her to get well. I don't want to hear Brent crying again, everytime he is seeing her mom in pain. It tears my heart into pieces. And second, it is the only way Brent could go back here. Besides, that is why Brent didn't make it here last summer because I don't want him to go back here if his mom is like that. His mom needs him more. As of me, I maybe not be healthy too but I could wait for him. And my illness is not really not that serious.... as of now.


It seems I gained weight. Like around two pounds, I guess. My abdomen is bloated. Or maybe because I'll be having my menstruation this week. Since I forgot drinking metformin (my lifetime medicine) for like a week. I feel very fat. I don't know if it is for real or psychological.


GAAH! It is already past 1AM and I am not sleeping yet because I am waiting for the food. My cousin bought some food in Jolibee. We haven't eaten dinner yet because we just got home 30 minutes ago from Merville. My parents were too busy fixing the new place so there was no time for dinner a while ago. I feel so sleepy now.

Dearest Brent,


I've been avoiding to hear the song "I wana grow old with you" by Adam Sandler in my playlist. Not because I don't like it but because I remember you sung to me that song when you were still in the Philippines. And now, and now, and now.. I miss you so bad. Damn. Oh well, I just want to tell you that I badly want to hug you. Squeeze your body against mine. Kiss your lips until my lungs run out of air. I miss fixing your hair. I miss window shopping with you. I miss everything. Everything about you.


I was in the car a while ago. While I was on my way home, I was reminiscing all the happy moments we had. I had tears of joy. I was a wild teenage girl when you met me. 15 years old junior high student. And you were a happy-go-lucky 20 years old guy. HAHA. I actually can't remember how things went. Nagising na lang ako, ikaw na may ari ng puso ko eh.


And now, I am turning 20 in three months and you, 25 at the end of the year. And we'll be celebrating our 4th anniversary. Isn't life very wonderful? Good things happen when you least expect it. Our relationship taught me a lot of things. Thank you sweetie for helping me to be a better person. If you didn't stop me for all the bad things I was doing, I wouldn't be like this now. I am not the best but I know I became better and it is all because of you.


Our love proved a lot of things. First, age doesn't matter as long as you're both matured and it's all upto the couple what level of maturity they have and for us, I know were in the same level but not academically-wise. HAHA.
Second, inter-racial relationship works! Yes, it works. Though sometimes we have misunderstandings because there are times we can't understand each others' culture but it was never a hindrance. Third, long distance relationship works if you really want it to. I know it's hard for us not to see each other. I am longing for you Brent but I know, I know. Konting pagtitiis nalang :)




I LOVE YOU..

Signs para malaman mo na mahal ka talaga ng BF mo :)

Source: Friendster


Proud siya, kahit kaharap yun tropa niya "BABY" padin tawag niya sayo.
- Yes, true enough. Ganian siya sa akin e. Kilig. Haha.

Gusto mo siya i-test? May lakad yung barkada niya, magyaya ka ng date. Kung ikaw pinili niya, LOVE ka nun.
- Inaasar tuloy siyang under pero hindi naman no. Good boy lang talaga siya. Kasi naman ang bad ng friends niya na guys eh. Gusto lagi inuman. Malamang may chicks! Kaya ayun, gagawa na ako ng eksena niyan. Haha.

Kahit walang gift, alam niya na anniversary or monthsary niyo.
- Not in my case kasi never siya nakalimot ng monthsary and lagi siyang may gift.

Nagseselos tuwing nagbabasa ng text messages sa phone mo.
- Oo nga. Binura nga niya yung mga contacts ko na guys before e :(

Imbis na proud kasi maganda ka. Mas gugustuhin niya na pumangit ka, para wala ng tumingin sayo.
- Tama. Nakakainis. Siya gwapo tapos ako pangit? Unfair!

Wag mo lang siya pansinin ng konti, nagdududa na siya kung may problema ka.
- Yes. Because he knows me that much.

Pupunta siya sa bahay niyo kahit nahihiya siya sa parents mo.
- Oo! Lagot ka kay papa. Haha.

Ikaw lang may karapatan pumuyat sa kanya.
- Pati din yung mga reports pumupuyat sa kanya e :(

Kasama mo siya mag shopping ng damit. Basta pili mo, susuotin niya.
- Oo naman. Ako pa nga minsan pumipili ng damit ng susuotin niya sa lakad niya e.

Mumurahin niya kung sino mang "admirer" yung nagtetext sayo. Pag di pa nakuntento, magpapakilala siyang "BF MO".
- In my case, "fiance" ang pakilala niya :)

Away na naman? Kung gusto mo matapos, umiyak ka lang at magsosorry siya kahit hindi niya kasalanan.
- Oo. Minsan nga pinipilit ko nalang umiyak e para di na siya magalit.

Lahat ng lutuin mo, kahit palpak. VERY GOOD sa kanya.
- Sasabihin niya sa akin na hindi masarap pero kinakain padin lahat.

Magtatanong siya sa future plans mo, gusto niya malaman if kasama siya dun.
- Ako madalas gumagawa nito. Kasi siya, magkkwento na siya agad ng mga future plans niya for us.

Lahat ng kinukuwento mo kahit hindi na siya interesado, natatandaan niya.
- Haha. Oo. Rinding rindi na nga sa akin yun e.

Palagi niyang inaamoy buhok mo.
- Yea, Pag naka lean ako sa arm niya :)

He kisses with eyes shut.
- Yes.

Bagsakan mo ng phone, tatawag ulit yan.
- Nako. Oo. Pero minsan di ko na sinasagot un next na tawag. Katakot takot na sermon yun e.

Picture mo lang nasa wallet niya.
- Hindi! Haha. Picture namin! :)

Hindi siya manghihinayang umiyak para sayo.
- Iyakin kasi e.

Hinding hindi nakakalimutan mag "I love you" sa iyo.
- Every second.

Kahit hindi na siya makakain sa school, okay lang. Basta mabili lang yung gusto mo.
- He did that when he was saving up for the rings. But it was his choice. It was a surprise.

Lahat gagawin niya, wag ka lang mapahamak.
- Yea. Before nga, may mga death threats. We have to break up para di nila ako guluhin. Grabeng sacrifice yun :(

Lagi ka niya inaalala.
- Grabe nga mag alala e :)



- 100%! :)

A night I just want to die.

I am fuckin' DEPRESS right now!


Brent was engaged into a serious fight yesterday and now the guy wants to file a case against him! :(


His dad talked to the guy a while ago and he told him that he won't continue his plan if his son will just apologize personally to him.




I know Brent. I am not very sure if he'll do that. He has a big ego. I don't know. Just can't help crying :(

New home :3

I suddenly missed dancing and I don't know why. Oh well, It's been a while. School is still going on. The school doesn't want to suspend our classes despite of the swine flu and heavy rain. WAH! Anyway, I am here at our new home in Merville. My sister Ish is already staying here because she already has school. My sister Yna wasn't able to stay here because she's sick. Awwww
The place is very good now and it has good interior.


I suddenly feel sleepy.
Be back.

If I lay here.
If I just lay here.
Would you lie beside me and forget the world?



I just want one thing so bad right now..
I just want you to be with me forever.




I can't imagine myself kissing other lips than yours.
I don't want to wake up one morning without you by my side.
I don't want to sleep without saying "good night babe".


How could I live without you?
Tell me.


You're my true love.


I will love you BJM until the sun refuses to shine.
Forever and ever.
Each and every day of my existence.


Close your eyes dear.
Let me kiss you.
Let me love you more.
I can already see my future with you.






- Mika Ishikawa

The Taft Life [Part Two]

Oh Lord. what is happening to me? I feel so bad right now. Literally, I don't feel good.
I got flu and my eyes are really painful. Swine flu? NO!
Seems everyone here in the computer lab has a flu. Everyone is sniffing including me :(
I still have classes till 9 PM and my Natsci professor is kinda strict *tears*



What should I do?
After Wordproc class, I'll go back to my place and take a rest for a while.



Good luck to me.

The Taft Life.

Exactly one hour and fourty minutes to go before my next class starts.
And I am very bored. As usual, I am with my vacantmate slash friend, Lovely.
And again, were here at one of the school's computer laboratories to kill time.
I feel so sleepy.




Yesterday, me and my fellow lasallians were very frustrated of the news H1N1 is already in DE LA SALLE!
The main campus is already suspended for ten days while the College of St. Benilde has no final decision yet.
Meaning, I still have classes to attend. Good, because I would still see my friends. Bad, because I am too lazy to go to school.


Now, my mind is blank.



......

Survey that made me reminisce the good times again :">

1. He's sitting in front of the TV, what is on the screen?
-- He prolly been watching the local television.

2. You're out to eat; what kind of dressing does he get on his salad?
-- Nah.

3. What's one food he doesn't like?
-- Balot!

4. You go out to eat. What drink does he order?
-- Depends. Soft drinks or coffee.

5. Where did he go to high school?
-- Chung hua?

6. What size shoe does he wear?
-- 12. Almost.

7. If he were to collect anything, what would it be?
-- Girls. No, I am kidding. Haha.

8. What is his favorite type of sandwich?
-- He goes with the healthy one. Boiled chicken or tuna, mayo and some TLM.

9. What would he eat every day if he could?
-- Chocolate.

10. What is his favorite cereal?
-- He's too old for that. Haha!

11. What would he never wear?
-- Baggy clothes.

12. What is his favorite sports team?
-- N/A.

13. Who did he vote for President?
-- N/A.

14. Who is his best friend?
-- The late Lake.

15. What is one thing he wishes you wouldn't do?
-- Vices. Sorry babe :(

16. What is his heritage?
-- Korean-Malaysian.

17. You bake him a cake for his birthday; what kind of cake?
-- I won't bake, I would make his favorite one, graham cake.

18. Did he play sports in high school?
-- Basketball.

19. What could he spend hours doing?
-- Tease and insult me. He loves that, for real.

20. What is one unique talent he has?
-- He could imitate other people so good and even the voice of cartoons. Haha!


Part 2

What are your middle names?
His: Can't pronounce!
Mine: Sampan.

How long have you been together?
-- Three years, five months and six days.

How long did you know each other before you started dating?
-- Three months?

Who asked whom out?
-- Duh, him.

How old are each of you?
Me: 19
His: 24

Whose siblings do you see the most?
Me: I rarely see them. I am away.
His: Billy and Erzin.

Which situation is the hardest on you as a couple?
-- Long distance.

Did you go to the same school?
-- Nah.

Are you from the same home town?
-- Nope.

Who is smarter?
-- Him.

Who is the most sensitive?
-- Both.

Where do you eat out most as a couple?
-- Fine restaurants. Too many to mention!

Where is the furthest you two have traveled together as a couple?
-- Umm, none yet. Just around here.

Who has the craziest exes?
-- Him. Haha.

Who has the worst temper?
-- It's him. no doubt!

Who does the cooking?
-- Him, again. Haha.

Who is the neat-freak?
-- Him!

Who is more stubborn?
-- He he he. Me?

Who hogs the bed?
-- Yay! Meeee :(

Who wakes up earlier?
-- Depends.

Where was your first date?
-- ATC :D

Who is more jealous?
-- Him.

How long did it take to get serious?
-- Months of dating.

Who eats more?
-- We suffter from gluttony. Haha!

Who does the laundry?
-- Nah.

Who's better with the computer?
-- He is.

Who drives when you are together?
-- You want me to drive? You wana die? Haha. Of course, it's him. It's his car, anyway.

Future in You.

Think about it baby,
me and you side to side.
Tonight till forever.
Feels so good. I just can't wait.

Because baby I can see my future in you.
I need you and your lovin'.
You make my body so warm inside.
Baby, caress me with your love forever.


Can you feel what I feel?
Don't deny.
I know it's mutual.
Forever is our brand new policy.


Just tell me when to go.
Babe, Ima go with you.
Let the dream come true.
Because baby I can see my future in you.