Lucky I am in love with him :)

"Have you ever been in love that it comes to the point your heart goes slower and faster at the same time everytime he's around?"

Yes! That is what I feel right now. So good. Yes, yes. I am very in love with.... who else? But Brent! *all smiles*

I don't know but I really don't care what people would say or do against me as long he's with me. He just proved me again, a while ago.. how much he loves me. I feel so refreshed and assured. He changed a lot. My sweetie changed for good. I hope he won't stop changing for the better. I love him so much!

Time: 9:11PM
Location: Living room



It's Monday and I don't feel well. Back to "normal". The usual nausea, headache and vommiting. I don't really have so much to talk right now. I just wanted to update this blog. KKKKK.

God's message for me today

Mika got a message that on this day, God wants her to know...

... that when the sun rises, it rises for you.

Yes, for you. Just for you. Only for you. You are it, everything, the whole universe with all the billion galaxies and stars. The separateness you feel is only a mask you have put on to enjoy this human form. Under the mask, your shape is All. How far can you now feel your Self expand? To your parent?... to your child?... to your friend?... to a stranger on a street?... half way around the globe?

Tuesday Happenings

What happened today? Hmm. Well, I woke up around 7AM and called up my boyfriend. So we talked for an hour or so. He told me that Jade texted around 5AM and told him to tell me to text her. So I was worried. I thought something bad happened. I immediately texted her. She called me around 9AM and told me to accompany her to the hospital cause she wasn't feeling well. I got up and went to the shower. Around 11AM, I met up with her up at SM Bicutan. We went to the hospital around 1PM. And as I sensed, the check up's result was not good. Her ObGyne told her that she's having a threatened abortion. Meaning, the baby is in danger right now. It could fall off anytime. The doctor recommended her some additional medicines and told her to take a bed rest for a week. I feel pity for Jade. I hope everything would turn out fine. I hope nothing happens to the baby. It's difficult for a mother to lose a baby.

I was desperately looking for a certain picture of Jade and I. I searched it in my friendster profile, found nothing. I tried to look for it also in her profile, I didn't find it too. Where did it go? Ugh!

I kinda felt sad because I saw my boyfriend's butterfly drawings for me on Jade's profile. It was on my walls before when Jade took a picture of it. It was 3 drawings. 2 small ones and the other one is bigger. I tore the small ones months ago out of anger when I thought he was seeing other girl in Malaysia. Who would thought it was his twin brother? Lol. I don't know. I kinda feel a regret but no one could blame me of what happened. I was in deep pain that time. Worthless pain. GAAH!

Paranoia Queen.

I don't know why but lately I've been over reacting to things. I respond to things in a exaggerated manner. I'm insane, for real. I am a certified paranoia queen. It kills me. It drives me crazy. *sigh* I've been really sensitive. Somebody help me. I can't smile. I just want to break down and cry myself to sleep.



HELP me, anyone?

Bakit kaya lagi silang ganun sa akin. Konting salita ko lang, konting pagkakamali lang. Akala mo nakapatay ako ng tao. Ewan ko ba. Dapat siguro masanay na ako. Masanay na masaktan. Pinipilit kong gawin manhid un sarili ko sa lahat ng naririnig ko na masasakit na salita pero wala eh, kahit anong gawin ko nasasaktan padin ako. Umiiyak padin ako. Ayoko na ng ganitong buhay e. Mayaman nga kami. Madaming daming pera. Nabibili ko lahat ng gusto ko pero ano ang kapalit? Ito? Oo, alam ko naman na hindi ako mala-anghel na anak e. Madami ako nagawang kasalanan sa mga magulang ako pero puta naman, kulang pa ba un buong buhay ko un pagsisisihan? Lahat na lang ng ginawa ko mali. Wala na akong ginawang tama. Ulitimo paglaglag ko ng pagkain galing sa bibig ko, malaking bagay sa kanila. Hindi naman ako perpektong tao no. At hindi din naman sila perpektong tao. Ayoko magalit e. Kasi mahal ko sila. Pero bakit ganun? Hindi ko naman maramadaman na mahal din nila ako. Hindi ko na nga maramadaman na may pakielam pa sila sa akin e. Alam mo, sa totoo lang. Pinipilit ko naman sila intindihin e. Alam ko naman na madami silang problema ngayon e. Pero bakit naman ganun. Hindi ko mainitindihan. Kanina, wala naman akong masamang sinabi kay mama e. Tinanong ko lang naman kung bakit sila lagi bumabalik ng Las Pinas. Sabi nia madami pa daw sila gamit dun. Sabi ko parang wala naman sila inuuwi. YUN LANG SINABI KO. Pero binastos ko daw siya. Wala daw ako respeto sa kanya. Gago daw ako. Umuwi na daw ako sa condo ko kasi wala naman daw ako pakinabang dito. Alam mo, lagi na lang nila ako pinapaalis dito e. Parang napilitan lang sila na isama pa ako dito. Sabagay, ramdam na ramdam ko naman na PABIGAT ako dito eh. Hahanap lang ako ng magandang tiyempo, aalis na din ako dito. Gusto ko lang naman kasi makasama ung aso ko e. Kaya gusto ko nandito ako. Pero kung sila lang din, wag na. Hindi naman nila ako kailangan dito e. Gusto ko na mamatay. Kahit anong gawin ko, wala ako mapatunayan sa kanila. Puro pagkakamali ko na lang nakikita nila. Wala na to. Wala na pag asa.

UAAP Season 72 Opening

UST Tiger. Growl!

They were singing the UST Hymn after they won.

2nd half.

Cheerdancing.

Adamson University.






And some wacky pictures with Maica.

A message from God

time: 10:57AM
date: 12th of July, year 2009

On this day of your life, Mika, we believe God wants you to know...
... that it's your heart that knows who loves you, not your ears or eyes.

Listen to the words, and you can be fooled. Look at the actions, and you can be fooled. You are loved only when you feel loved. Who makes your heart soar now? Well, what are you waiting for?





In God We Trust

My heart's shout out.

I just want to remind you that I love you so much dear.
You're my first and last great love and it will always remain that way.

I just want to assure you that no matter what happens,
I will always be your lady.

Things are happening too fast.
I don't know when I can see you again.
But I just want to assure you that if you can't get it through,
Sweetie, I'll always understand you.

For a man could find another lover but not another mom.
Not a chance.
My heart purely understands you.
Cause I am a woman who also loves her mom.

Don't force yourself dear.
Things will fall into right places soon.

Don't frown. Don't be sad.
Because from now till forever,
I'll always be yours.

I could wait.
No matter how long it takes.
I love you.
And that's the only thing I know that is for sure.

Smile bheibhy. Everything will turn out fine. You'll see. :)

My Saturday.

Time check: 12:15 AM
Listening to: One Last Cry of Brian McKnight
Mood: Sad
Wearing: Dark gray dress shirt, black leggings and slippers
Location: Sister's room





I slept around 1AM last night and woke up at 6AM to prepare myself for my boring Saturday class. Went to school at past 7AM and reached the classroom around 8:15AM. I was the first one in class. As usual. I had a break at 10AM, so I went to McDo to grab something to eat. I ate "big breakfast" but I was experiencing the usual nausea again, so I had left overs. I stepped out of Mcdo after eating and mindlessly walk thru the busy streets of Taft Avenue when someone called me. It was Chriska. My blockmate back in St. Scholastica's College. She was with Tin. I was close to them when I was still studying there. So they dragged me inside University Mall. We just sitted at near the internet cafe and chatted. We haven't seen each other for a long time so we talked a lot of things. After an hour or so, we've seperated ways because they had to go home and as of me, I have to go to Araneta to watch UAAP with my long time bestfriend, Maica. We haven't seen each for a year! So I arrived earlier than her. Probably 15 minutes earlier. I just waited at Starbucks when she texted me that she's waiting in Coffee Bean. So I went there to meet her and then we went straight inside the stadium. We were in upperbox. I thought it wasn't a good place but boy we were wrong. We had a very nice view from up there. UST vs. ADU. Of course, Maica's school won. It was a very close fight. Just one point ahead. Sucks for Adamson people. Better luck next time. We went home around 7PM. MRT was very full. How I hate super crowded places! But we had no choice because we really have to rush. Maica's mom was waiting for her and my boyfriend was getting mad at me because again and again, I broke a promise. I told him I'll go home early but I didn't make it. Promise, I'll be good next time! *wink*


When we reached Ayala Station. Maica and I separated ways. She'll take a shuttle and I will ride a cab. The time I rode the cab, without blinking I called up my boyfriend because I know he was very mad. And boy I was right, he was mad. But before ending the call, we were kind of all right. He told me to text him when I reached home so that's what I did. After I texted, he replied to me that he's already driving and on his way home from the groceries. So I waited and was kind of excited to talk to him after a long day of not hearing my darling's voice. But something happened.... He texted me that, his dad just called him up and told him his mom was just rushed into the hospital. So instead of going home, he just drove off to the hospital. I still don't know what happened. But I am assuming that it's about her heart illness. Everytime I was asking Brent, he's changing the topic. I respect him so I didn't insist anymore. I already offered a prayer to Mother Mary. Hope she hears me. Hope she could extend Brent's mom's life. I know, she's a wonderful woman. She deserves to live longer. A lot of people love her. And I don't want to see my boyfriend in burden. If I could just give my life as an exchange, I would. I just don't want to see him crying... It kills my heart... :(

Most of my girl friends already have their own lil angels.
Some are already pregnant now.
I know it is something I should not be envy of
because were all too young to have our own babies.
But even though what they did was somehow wrong..
I can see that they're sooo happy and excited.


And I kinda feel envious.
I wish I could have my own too.. NOW.
But it's not the right time :3



DUH :P

This is the way I ended my week :)

My sister, Ish and I went to SM Makati to buy some toiletries
then ate some burgers, twister fries and sprite floats at McDo.
After that, we went to David's salon but it was full.
So we went to the nearby mall, Glorietta 4.
We found Bench Fix so my sister decided to let her hair done there.
And it turned out good.


We arrived home early. Around 6 or 7 PM.
She still has classes tomorrow so we had to go home early.


My boyfriend and I fought a while ago.
Because he still hates my sister.
I mean, c'mon. I don't want anyone of the family argues with him,
regardless of who started it.
I want him to be part of my family so I want peace.
Besides, he's more matured and older so he has to give way.
Besides, my sister knows her mistakes and all they need
is to talk again.
They really had a very good relationship as future in-laws.
So I'll do everything to gain it back.

B's broken arm = M's broken heart :s

Today was a VERY bad day. Brent met an accident. Hold your tears. Nothing tragic happened aside from breaking an arm. Ang tigas kasi ng ulo niya e. I always tell him not to ride a motorcycle because it is very dangerous. I was very traumatized of my motor accident and I don't want it to let it happen to him but then.. it happened because he's very hard-headed. I am very disappointed. I wanted to scold him but I know it wasn't entirely his fault so I tried to understand. And I could hear that he's in real pain and I just feel so sad because I want to be on his side but then again, it's impossible. I want to take care of him. I just hope things will be better for him tomorrow. I am worrying a lot. I hope this is nothing really serious. It is just a broken arm. I know it is.