Why. Me.

Why life is so unfair? Anybody please answer my question cause I`ve been asking this for a long time and until now I still don`t know. I never really dreamed of extravagant things, well I always wanted to be rich but who doesn`t want to be, right? Don`t be such a hypocrite.

As much as possible, I don`t want to question God on what`s happening to me and to people around me cause I know he has better plans but sometimes it just hurt so much that you just want to break down and cry.....

Why me? :(

@@

Most of the time, you can`t understand something that never happened to you and you`ll just be able to understand it if the exact thing happened to you too.
I can`t say NO ONE understands me because I know somewhere out there, there are people who are trying to understand me but then, they wouldn`t really just fully, completely understand because they have no idea, even a little, how hard it is to be ME.

I am not really exaggerating like what most of the people would be thinking right now. Its just really hard, waking up every morning realizing that everything has changed. Wishing that its only a nightmare but then, its not.

If I only knew this would happen to me, to us.......

Life update

I can literally say that my life is messed up right now. I`m a certified bummer and if I need a license for this, I will surely pass the board exam. Lol.
My life is boring. I didn`t enroll this term because of two things. First, we have limited budget so I had to give way to my sister who is a freshman college student now and second, my mom and I might go to Japan.

Haaa, I miss my old life. Lots of moolah, unlimited food trips and malling.
I could not even watch a movie right now! :( My mom is really thrifty, she doesn`t want to give me money. But anyway, its okay. I understand. All I am wishing right now is my family to be okay despite of all the things that happened, happening and will happen to us.

..I wish I`m numb..

Some insights I want to share.

Its really okay to have some ambitions in life. There is nothing wrong with being ambitious at all. But being over ambitious is kinda wrong especially when you`re becoming a different person. Someone far from the old you.

Maybe you have a lot of money now. Regardless of how you earned it. Be it, because you were so hard working and you love to over time, or maybe you`ve been a mistress of a very rich, old business man. It doesn`t matter. As long as your intentions are clean. What`s wrong with wanting to be rich? Everyone wants to be rich- and that includes me but the thing is.. when some people reached their dreams slash goals (particularly being rich) already - they tend to forget his/her past. That once, he/she was un ugly duckling seeking for attention. That once, he/she had a simple life.

And by that, he/she will start hurting other people. Intentionally or unintentionally. Not because you are rich already, you have the right to HURT other people specially if they are the people who were there when you were still NOTHING. A nobody.

Sometimes, you have to look back. It won`t hurt.
Karma goes around.

World Cup 2010

Netherlands vs Japan

tomorrow! :D

Love!

We almost broke up last night.

It was the biggest shock of my life.

He confessed a lot of things.

Its not like he has another girlfriend or something.

Nothing about cheating.

It`s all about the fairness in our relationship.

He thinks he is not appreciated.

He thinks he is taken for granted.

Half true, I guess.

I was very numb to others lately

and that includes my dear boyfriend.

*sighs*

I am just so glad he was willing

to work it out.

Promise, I am going

to be a good girlfriend *winkwink*

Spaced out.

Everybody wants a happy ending and so do I.


Here I am, feeling depressed again. Problems are still here. Still painful and I still don`t know what to do. I feel useless and worthless. Gaah~
I am spaced out.

Anyone help? -.="

Someone.......

I want to be someone special.

His only gem.

His dream.

No competitors.

No rivals.

Just me.

I want to be someone`s only friend.

I want to be someone`s only love.

That is just my selfish side.

I don`t really wish it. He he he.

`Cause it`s impossible.

You`re my priority so don`t make just an option.

I really feel bad right now.

I`ve been waiting for my boyfriend for almost two hours now.

I thought he`s already on his way home

from his office but turned out,

he`s hanging out with his friends.

He was reasoning things out that

his colleagues wouldn`t let him go.

Duh, heared those alibis already.

I am just a worried girlfriend

plus the fact that I kept on

telling him to go home early

because I want to talk to him.

Simply because I miss him.

Why are BOYS like that?

When they are around his friends,

they tend to forget their significant other.

SHAME ON YOU!

And yes, I am MAAAAAAAD!

Shout out of my heart

All I want in my life for now is to be with him.

All I want is to feel his lips pressed against mine.

His arms around my waist.

His eyes staring to mine.

I want to whisper to his ear those three little words

that made me wait for him to come back

even it took him a long time..

Cheers to Cupid.

Sometimes no matter how much you love each other, some things are just getting to its end because that is your fate. No matter how you fight for it, things will never change. Love is not just the only ingredient you need to have a long and sucessful relationship. Its maybe the most important one but definitely not the only one. Respect and trust are two big factors too.


I am just hoping we could work it out, `cause for now, I can only see myself with him.


Hoping for the best but expecting for the worst.

Lie to me.

I have huge trust issues due to bad experiences over the years and I can`t help but to cry everytime I remember them. I just really don`t know who are real to me lately. Everyone seems poker-faced. Everyone seems wearing a mask and under that mask is their ugly faces. Even people who are blood-related to me seems fake. I don`t know who are saying the truth and who are not.



This is confusing and totally heartbreaking.

Stronger and more mature.

I guess that is how should I handle and deal with life.

I know, its easier said than done

but that is how everything works.

Taking risks.