Inferiority Complex

I am trying to de-stress myself but how can I do that when problems occur in daily basis? The boyfriend and I always argue even on small things. Most of the time, we don't jive anymore. There are times that he's in office for the whole day so he can't really text which is of course, I totally understand. When he gets home at night, he'll fall asleep early 'cause he's tired which is I guess is understandable too. But of course, knowing myself, sometimes I feel sad that my boyfriend has no time for me. Even though his reasons are valid enough. Well, I guess that's just me being melodramatic. He knows what I feel but I don't really want to push him to this.. to have more time for me because he needs to work and I am proud of him because he's being independent. As what he says, he's working for us, for our future but it doesn't matter.. I mean I don't really mind if he's working for us or not. The main point is.. he's working hard for the future. Whether I belong to that "future" or not. We can never say but I am hoping. 


Lately, I am thinking.. Uhmm, boyfriend and I are not a good match. I mean, we love each other and stuff but were so opposite. He's good looking and I am not. He's a degree holder and I am not. He's rich and I am not. I am nothing compared to most of his past girlfriends which is of course belongs to the same social circle. Everytime I think of this things, I can't help but to cry and let my insecurities arise. I am just a girl. 


I personally never met my boyfriend's family yet. He wanted me to but I always tell him I am not ready yet.. 'till they went back to their native land. And I guess if the boyfriend would ask me the same thing, I would also answer him the same thing I did two years ago. Were on our 6th year already.. but I don't think I am ready to meet his family. I am just scared they won't like me for their son. There is nothing to like about me. I am just.. nothing.


I am not the Mika they think I am. No one really knows my real background. I lied about myself. I am scared no one could accept me. I don't think someone could understand me. I am so ashamed of myself. People would just judge me, I am sure of that...