Worthless much?

I feel completely worthless and useless as of the moment. I always feel that way, somehow. In 1 minute. I feel worthless in 59 seconds. I know my family loves me but maybe not much as they love my siblings. There was no favoritism but everytime I am with them, I can feel the difference. My siblings are prettier than me. They never did things like what I did on my teenage years. My youngest sister is always on the honor roll. My other sister was on a volleyball varsity team, musical theater, etc. When I told my dad and mom I wanted to join the summer hiphop thingy. Their reaction was "Can you even dance?" They never knew I am dancing since elementary. They never watched. My dad did, just few of them. Ishikawa family could be a happy family picture even without me on the scene. I am worthless. I am not like my mom's friend's daughter who could responsibly study and work at the same time. I am not like my dad's niece who do well in the university she is attending at Japan. I am not good at all. I am always like my Japanese cousin who has been on jail for beating a Yakusa's son. "Oo, parehas sila ni Mika. Sakit sa ulo."


Hehehe.


I am not good at all. Nothing to be proud of.
My insecurities are getting really HUGE and they're countless now.



And yea, I am not a good girlfriend too. I am a nagger. I curse. I can't really cook what he wants.
I am useless too. I always say sorry and he's sick of my sorrys.






I am not happy and everyone is not happy either. Because of me.
I might as well, voluntarily take away myself on the happy picture.
Just to remain the picture happy and complete.