.. Been thinking about LOVE recently. I know I am truly madly in love right now with someone for almost four years. I am turning 20 in four months. Things have been a lil rough lately. I met my darling 5 years ago. I was just 15 then. And he was 20. And now, I am 19. He's 24. I am a college student now and he? He's an engineer at their own company. While he is having the time of his life, me? I am still building my own dreams. Dreams that has no assurance of coming true. Sometimes, I can feel that were not in the same world anymore. He's sucessful already while me, I am still finding where I am belong to. I get intimidated. I have insecurities. Lots of them, actually. He's smart and good looking. I am not. I am so average. The type of girl you could see anywhere, everywhere. There's no special about me. He's almost perfect. Every girl's dream. I am proud, really proud but I don't know why I feel this way. My biggest fear right now is to lose him. I've been lately thinking about.. ummmm.. what if one day he'll just wake up realizing he doesn't love me anymore? Or what if he'll find someone prettier than me? I don't know if we really make a good pair. Some says, yes. Some envious people say no.I am just so scared to lose him. I can't. *sighs*You know what? I love him so much. I've never been this in love and I am so happy because I fell for him. I can't say that he's the "right" one already but I am hoping and looking forward to. I can't picture myself with another guy and I don't want it that way. I want him to be the father of my babies. I want to be his wife. I am not dreaming of a ala-fairy tale kind of life. All I want is to be with him forever and ever...
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