Realization ~

I keep on complaining that people around me changed a lot, blah blah, but then I realized, did they really change or I just really didn't know them that much? 


Think about it.

Old friends

I suddenly missed this girls :)

 

 

 

My sister, Misa and I

at her first day in Japan

last October.

We look eww?

Karma is a bitch

I guess no matter what, people are just really mean in nature. I am not generalizing the entire human race but majority of people I know falls for that category. I just feel really about what happened tonight. I am not really in the mood to elaborate the story. But just to make it short, my aunt and I are in really bad terms now. A month ago, she kinda said a lot of things that are really offensive. She is known for being tactless and stuff but that doesn't mean I should understand her all the time. I was really mad so instead of replying to her last message, I just decided to remove her from my friend list and block her. I did that because I know myself. I might can't control myself from replying her. I might say something bad and I don't want that to happen because she is my aunt and I don't want my mom to get disappointed. But yeah, I guess everything has to be cleared out. I decided to reply to her a while ago for some reasons. I really don't like what she said a while ago. She told me I was bastos, walang respeto and even told my sister that she won't forget what I did. I was like.. "yeah? what the hell did i do to you aside from blocking you off from my list?" Here's the thing and I was really shocked. Somebody told her that I said something like this "Ayaw pa din ako tigilan ni bukol". Bukol is her pet name. I don't know why but my mom calls her by that but what the, I never called her that. God knows. Never. So we are all shocked by what she messaged my sister. And now I'm really curious whose the bitch behind these made-up stories. I have one person in mind but I'll figure it out first. 


Karma is a bitch.

64 months of love

Dreaming of the days when my lover lay beside me, my mind is in heaven, just imagining his touch. Every single part of him I have fallen in love with. His beautiful brown eyes glow; I can see my future in him. This gorgeous brown I will never forget.

His lips, so smooth just begging for a kiss. The perfect color, the perfect shape, and oh how I love to kiss those beautiful lips. The same lips that whisper 'I love you' embrace mine and I am reminded of the passion. 

The stunning curve of his spine makes my hands loose control, I remember massaging his back, his shoulders. Hearing my love moan with every motion, every touch, every scratch, lets me know that he is in a land of bliss, which I provided day in, day out. Kissing and licking his knees, he shivered and shook with pleasure, I love to make him loose control. 

Remembering when I lay next to him, admiring the sun on his skin... he reminded me of a statue sometimes. So handsome, so perfect. Pure beauty. Remembering his fingers twirling through my soft brown hair, him staring into my eyes as we had a speechless conversation. 

Reminiscing of the mornings I would wake up next to him, his arm around me keeping me warm. Waking up being able to see him and kiss him good morning, with a soft 'I love you' being the first thing said. I remember being able to sleep next to him, being wrapped up warm in his arms. 

But this dreamland no longer exists; I feel nothing. All I feel is the pain from his absence, and a constant longing for my love that drives me insane. A constant loneliness that never subsides. 

The next time he will return to my arms seems like an eternity away. 

Nowadays when I roll over, there is merely a pillow. When I look over to awe at my love, all that remains is the wall. I remember when it was him who warmed me, now there is merely a blanket. My bed has suddenly become huge without him next to me, my palm is empty without him to here hold it, and my heart is empty without him here to love me. 

My mind is fried, all I think about is the next time I will see my love. I'm trying to stay strong, knowing that someday my love will return. Memories and the sound of his voice are the only things that keep me going, that keep me desperate for his return. Oh how I've hungered for his touch, for even a simple glance from those gorgeous eyes. Thinking of the next time I will wrap my arms around him and inhale the scent of his neck. When I will feel his stubble scratch my cheek, when I will be able to run my fingers over his shoulders and whisper 'Welcome home bheibhy, I love you' into his ear. When I will be able to gaze into his eyes and kiss him, with this kiss expressing how much I've missed him, how much I've yearned for him. Every part of my body, longs for his touch. 

A simple graze of his fingertips would be enough to make me fall to my knees.

Summer Luvin'!

Summer started kind of late

but deengg, it is so hot right now!

I hope I could attend some

beach party or something

or maybe visit my relatives

in La Union and do 

some surfing!

CHYYYEAAAH!

 

Miss T PART 2

Just an update.

Sorry for being such a bitch but this is really funny..


Miss T PM'd me last night and asked me if how am I doing in Japan. I told her I'm okay but I am already in the Philippines for the past two months. 

I told her that I heard she has a new boyfriend already and she confirmed it. I asked her what will happen to her "marriage" with her so-called "ex-husband". And guess what? She told me it is already annulled. WHAT THE @^%$#!!!


Look, I am not stupid enough to fall for this. They just broke up like 3 months ago and now they're already annulled?! Even the celebrities is having a hard time to file an annulment!


Wohhoo. Liar.

Updating only

It's really a boring day now. It is Holy week for us Christians so we can't really do anything happy at the moment because Christ is dead.

It's already 7PM at the moment and I haven't been productive today. I woke up at 2PM, ate my breakfast/lunch, took a bath and watched DVD. Lazy, I know. I want to go out but I am not sure if malls are open now and besides, I don't want to spend money. I am saving it for more important things. I am planning to apply this coming week so wish me luck. I really don't feel alright lately. I feel a little chest pain and occasional palpitations. I suspect it's the GERD or what we call gastroesophageal reflux disease. I was diagnosed three years ago and it is killing me always! I need to see a doctor one of these days so I could get prescription for my medicines.


Blah.

Miss T

Tonight, I will reveal a bad side of mine. I am sorry but I just have to let this out.

So here is the thing, I met this girl in one of my Saturday classes during my stay in CSB. Let us call her Miss T. We became hang out buddies. She was okay, a little, I guess. The first time we got to know we each other. We decided to eat lunch together. And the moment we sat down, she begun telling me tons of stories about her ex-boyfriend which was our school mate. And I was like.. "hey we just met, okay? So that means I don't give a damn about your love life. Can't you be a little sensible?" .... Of course, I didn't tell her that but I wish I did! 

I spent the rest of my Saturday breaks with her. Just because I have no choice. Fine, I might sound a little mean but that is the truth. 

I told the boyfriend to text her and pretend to be someone else. I told him to tell her a different profile. Someone appealing. Well, the boyfriend is very appealing but he's mine so yeah, I don't like him to use his real profile for private purposes. So Miss T and the boyfriend became virtual friends. All along, Miss T thought the boyfriend was just a close friend of mine. Lol! So during one of our lunch breaks, Miss T confessed to me that she was already falling for the boyfriend. Oopsie. Sorry, he's mine but I wasn't alarmed at all. It was all part of the game. 


Until the sweet boyfriend told her the truth about US. But she never confronted me about it. I guess she was having a hint all along.


I haven't seen Miss T for like a year now. I stopped school for the mean time while she transferred but we used to chat via Facebook.


Months ago, when I was still in Japan. She was telling me stories about her boyfriend (her ex-boyfriend now). Few weeks after they became couple, she told me that they were already engaged. She told me that her dad and the guy's parents wanted them to get married years from now because they're both from Chinese descent. 


After a month, I guess. She told me they got married at one of the historic places in Manila. At first she told me that they just wanted blessings from the pastor. Then suddenly, she told me that it was a real wedding. I even interrogated her about how did they get married when both of them are not yet in legal age to get married. She answered me that the guy's parent faked the signature that supposed to be her father's signature. BLAH BLAH.


Few weeks after, she was ranting all over Facebook how broken hearted she was. Her "husband" broke up with her. According to her story, her "husband" broke up with her because he was so jealous of someone else. That's it? Just because of jealousy? A "newlywed couple" will break up after few weeks just because of that lame reason? Fine. Whatever you say, Miss T.


Because I was really intrigued of this little liar, I PM'd her and asked what happened. Then she told me about the jealousy thing. And guess what, Miss T told me she was two-weeks pregnant. I told her to tell her "husband". She refused and gave a lot of excuses. I just listened.


After some weeks, she PM'd me in Facebook and told me she had a miscarriage. And she told me the most unbelievable story ever! Do I look that stupid to you, Miss T? 


And at this very moment, she was in a relationship with a totally different guy. Raving about how in love she is right now. 


And oh, last year she told me she will leave for States and until now she is still here in Philippines. She kept on posting status in Facebook that she will leave BLAH BLAH. 


I'm really sick and tired of this bitch. Sorry for all the rants but I am just really annoyed. I stopped talking to her two months ago. And I am thinking to delete her in my list.




Sorry for being such a hater.

Ate ninang misses you baby Nariki!

Hope to see you in few months!

Fun day with the Centeno's

Finally, I had the chance to unwind today. I went to SM Mall of Asia with the best friend, her brother Dyick and my god son, Bryce. We met around 2PM and had lunch at Juan Bistro. It was our first time to eat there. Well, the food was okay. After that, we went to Seaside and just roamed around. When it was getting hot, we decided to go back inside the mall and eat at the food court. I bought my all-time favorite frozen yogurt and the best friend bought fried chicken skin and ice cream. Around 6PM, we went back to Seaside because we will be watching the fireworks. Every Saturday, MOA has this kind of show, fireworks display. 


Well, we were like an hour early so we decided to wander again around the vicinity. We bought some food like scramble, mango shake, a hot dog and some fries. The best friend's son Bryce probably lost all his energy that he slept without us noticing but when the fireworks display started, the best friend woke him up. 


And after that, we all went home... without eating dinner. We were all awed by the fireworks display that we forgot to eat first before going home. Ha ha ha! But anyway, it was a fun day again with them. Well, I never had dull moments with the best friend.


I have to rest now. Later!

...

I am trying to refrain myself from blogging but heck, I really have to blog away. It is Friday night and here I am stuck at home. My sisters are out and I am left here with mom and some cousins. I was suppose to meet the best friend at a nearby mall but I did not pursue for some reasons. I feel sick, I hate the traffic, I am broke and lastly and the most important thing is I am concern of her health. Just so you know, something happened to her last Sunday. She might have tonic clonic seizure, epilepsy or the worst is tumor but then of course, I am hoping none of those. I hope the diagnosis would not be that serious at all. Lets just pray for her.


So what is new with me? Nothing is really new. I already got my sss number and NBI clearance so now I am ready to find some job. I will probably start next week. Good luck to me! 

March 28-29 update

The boyfriend and I celebrated our 63rd monthsary two days ago. No, were still not together but we still managed to celebrate it by talking to the phone. It's enough for now. He cooked chicken curry (our favorite), lasagna and his very own jelly cake. I was so happy that night. Happy because despite of what is happening to him, to us.. he still haven't changed. I love you, B.


I am sick worried of him for two days. I couldn't sleep. He wasn't feeling well. A while ago, his dad accompanied him to the hospital. Thank God the diagnosis wasn't serious enough for him to die. The doctor told him that his heart beat is not normal and as usual, he's stressed. I wish he will be okay soon. I'm so worried, really.


But anyway, last night was one of my happiest nights ever. My siblings, mom, cousin Ryan, his wife and me went to Manila Memorial to visit my father's grave. It was my parents' 23rd wedding anniversary supposedly. After that, we went to Macapagal to have dinner. Seafood for the win. Yum! We had calamares, buttered shrimps, crabs in oyster sauce, mussels topped with garlic and cheese and also sinigang sa miso. It's been a while since we went outside with mom. So it was really great and I know she enjoyed! 

Super mad

You know what makes me so mad? When you give so much respect to someone yet she chose not to be at least kind to you. Yeah, that is bull and I am just a human. Someday, I will get even. I have so much hatred to someone right now. A mistress and a drug addict who actually don't deserve respect from anyone. I won't name her. She's an ugly bitch and for sure karma is on her way. I officially hate mistresses now. Damn home wreckers!

Sick baby needs some loving

I'm sick worried of my boyfriend. I called him up a while ago and told me he was feeling sick. Hope he will feel better tomorrow. He told me he argued with his older sister Ivy because of what happened yesterday. He walked out of the hospital without them knowing the reason. But me, I know the reason. It was me. Ha ha ha. We weren't okay yesterday and I am too lazy to elaborate what happened. Maybe next time, mmkay? But hey, I really miss my boyfriend. I miss his sweetness. I miss him baby-ing me. 

Update yo

Last Saturday, my family and I went to Manila Memorial because it is my father's death anniversary. It was an emotional day for me and especially for my mother who was crying all the time while priest was preaching. I couldn't help but to cry also. The priest's homily was good and inspiring. It was about moving on. The day was incomplete though because my sister Misa didn't make it. She had afternoon classes and was stucked in traffic. Anyway, Papa will surely understand. A lot of people came. Some of my aunts and uncles, cousins, nephews and nieces and also some friends. We had a little gathering after. We ate some food. My aunts and cousins brought some food to share too. It was a memorable one and I am also happy that I saw my close cousins again after a long time. 


The other day was a very bad day. I went to the diagnostic center where I had my blood work ups and x-rays done. My blood tests were fine. Within normal range. But my x-ray was a bad one. I have mild scoliosis. A bone disorder that my sister has and also my aunt too. My sister was diagnosed last year if I am not mistaken. I need to see a specialist for this and for sure undergo some therapies needed like my sister did. It would be quite expensive for sure but it would be worth it. I need to change my lifestyle. Seriously, this time. 


I need to get my JPY 20,000 from my aunt. I messaged her a while ago via Facebook. She is online now but as I've expected she didn't reply. People sometimes are so insensitive, eh? C'mon, I need a decent reply! It is not like I am borrowing money from her. I am getting my money! Hah! I am so mad again. She can tell me if she can't give it right now. I am a matured woman who can understand things like that.


You know what's making me mad? Everytime my cousins are asking money from her, she would say yes immediately but me? She can't even reply! @!&#$"$#"5&!!!




--------------------------------------------------------------------




I miss the boyfriend. When can I see you love? I miss you and everything about you, you hot little thing you! 


I love you so much lover!

I am sick of douchebags commenting/posting in social networking sites that my fellow Japanese deserved the tragedy happened few days ago! C'mon people!

Update

How time flies so fast! I can't believe that two days from now, it will be already my father's first death anniversary. I actually dreamt of him last night. I can't really tell the details because it wasn't clear. I feel so sad today. A while ago, mom and my cousin are talking their experiences about my father's confinement before he passed away. I don't actually want to talk about it or even remembering it 'cause the pain still lingers. 


Anyway, change topic..


Last Monday, I went to Healthway The Fort to have a check up again. I went to a different doctor but told me to the same thing. She gave some names of laboratories where I could get a cheaper blood work up and x-rays. I will still find them though 'cause she don't know the addresses. Good luck to me. *sigh. The back pain still occurs time to time. 


My sister is planning to go to Japan and get some work. She wanted to earn money 'cause she said her university will have a tuition fee increase this coming school year. Hope her plans will turn well. I am wishing all the best for her.


After knowing what's making me sick, I am also planning to find some job. I need to.

What to do?

The other day, something tragic happened to my other home, Japan. A 9.0 magnitude earthquake striked north eastern Japan. I've spent my afternoon watching NHK and BBC so I could be updated of my country. I was teary-eyed when I watched what was happening to Japan because after the earthquake, the tsunami came after and killed hundreds of people and still counting. A lot of houses were destroyed. Cars were crashed like toys and roads are totally damaged. I wonder if my paternal grandmother is alright. I called up my aunt in Osaka and asked if she and my cousins are okay. Thanks God they weren't affected at all.


I am very touched by people who are privately messaging me in Facebook and asking me if I am okay. Some of them still don't know that I am back in Manila. And I also received text messages from friends telling me that they are happy and relieved that I am already back in Manila before the tragedy happened.


If there are good people.. of course, there are also the villains. I see some people in Facebook posting that it's okay that something like that happened in Japan because they are rich, they could move on easily. Is that even right? And there is more.. some people also said that its just a karma of what they did during World War II, specifically Pearl Harbor. 


Why can't just people around the world just help the Japanese people? Instead of saying bad things about the country and its people? My heart is crying secretly because of this.


But then, we can't do anything about it. I am also happy that some countries are extending their help to Japan and I heard from my sister that American pop star, Justin Bieber donated a million to our country. 


It still scares me that something like this happened just few days ago. What will happen tomorrow? Is the 2012 prediction true? No one knows. I guess, we humans just have to pray to God. That is all we can do. To pray.

Back in Manila

It's been a while huh? I'm back in Manila now and so far, I am okay. I've missed my family so much and of course my close cousins and friends. I came back here last 25th of February. I've missed my dogs too! 


So far, I've seen Jade and Therese only among my friends. I met up with Therese at The Fort to catch up and of course, I wanted to see her daughter too. She was so pretty! Just like her mom. I've been with Jade several times already since I got here but last week, we went to the mall with her son who is such a cutie and he is such a bright child. Seems like my best friend is enjoying motherhood which is good. I am happy for her. 


The boyfriend and I are also doing good as well except that we don't talk that much anymore lately 'cause he's dealing with some family issues. I guess I have no right to say it here 'cause it's too personal but I am always praying to God to give him enough courage and strength so he could overcome whatever he is experiencing now. I am always here for him. I love him so much. I wish everything will turn out fine soon.


Financially speaking, my family is in really bad state. Aside from the fact that we are financially unstable.. we are dealing with one issue. Okay, here is the thing. We are receiving pension from the Osaka town hall every two months. Since none of us are in Japan anymore. My mom's sister is the one who is responsible of withdrawing the money from mom's bank account in Japan every two months. We still have a money left in the bank which is JPY150,000. My mom contacted my aunt and told her to send the money as soon as possible because my sister would be having her finals soon and needs to pay the remaining balance in school plus utility bills will be coming soon. She told mom that she will send the money on the 7th of March and its already 10th of March.. yet no money was sent! My mom is getting depress already. My aunt's mobile is out of reach, she doesn't go online anymore and no one is answering their land line. I wonder if she spent our money and intentionally not contacting us because she knows mom will get mad if she will find out what she did? 


I wouldn't be surprise if she did that. She has actually an attitude of spending money of others. She eventually would pay it but the fact that you are not actually "borrowing" the money yet you spent it is such a bad attitude. 


Tsk tsk tsk. Now tell me, who should I trust in this world filled with selfish people?